Thursday

I put my bag on the floor today at the train station only to realise too late that I had in fact placed it directly into some spit. How is spitting on the street not punishable by law? It is essentially the expulsion of bodily fluids onto a public surface. If I did a shit into the corner I’m positive I would end up in either prison or some kind of high security mental institution. I blame footballers. They spit everywhere, indiscriminately. You shouldn’t be able to pay a grown man the amount of money they get paid if he still thinks spitting in public is fine. I bet if I came round to one of their gaudy Cheshire mansions and spat in the pool they wouldn’t like it.